


Wingbeats

by daddy_snert



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, I PROMISE THIS IS NOT ONE OF THE CRACK FICS, M/M, Multi, PLEASE READ THIS I BEG OF YOU, Pining, READ THE CRACK FICS TOO THO THEYRE GREAT, Unrequited Love, Wing AU, basically self harm, but it's complicated?, i forgot pining, im not good at tagging please love me, lil bit of Jeremy POV but not much, love au, many pining, not happy ending, self deprication, self harm mentions?, self hate, sixth and seventh grade boyfs, young Michael and Jeremy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2018-12-19 05:58:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11891484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddy_snert/pseuds/daddy_snert
Summary: AU by inkskinned on Tumblr - basically, when you are loved the wings on your back get bigger. Big wings are a status symbol. Parental love and friend love count towards your wing's size, but so does romantic love. Michael's wings are small - he has one friend, a mom who left and another who doesn't care enough. His almost completely shed off when Jeremy gets a SQUIP and abandons him. Meanwhile, Jeremy's are growing at a steady pace - first due to Michael's evergrowing crush on his best friend, and then all his new 'popular' friends. He assumes they keep growing after the fact due to his relationship with Christine Canigula, but only Michael Mell knows the truth.





	1. Green Sandstone Colored Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Hello this is my first BMC thing that is not a crack fic

It had started as only a small crush on Jeremy. They had just started their first day of sixth grade - Jeremy’s gap toothed smile and Michael standing beside him. Jeremy’s mom taking a picture of them together outside their house and Mr. Heere smiling proudly, rather in shape and, impressively, wearing pants. As Jeremy slid into the bus seat next to Michael and started excitedly speculating on their first day, Michael felt something stirring in his chest. Usually being around Jeremy didn’t cause him anxiety, which was why Michael enjoyed his company so much, but now his chest would flutter whenever he would see him. He started noticing stuff about Jeremy too - little things, like the freckles that looked like they had been sprayed on his nose with a mister, or the way he would push back his hair, which Michael had also noticed was thinner than his own. Not wispy, but softer, as if dandelion seeds the exact color of caramel had settled there.  
A year later, their first week of seventh grade, Michael found himself crying in the bathroom and praying that Jeremy wouldn’t notice the change in his wings. They had been changing for gym when Michael had noticed that Jeremy’s wings had grown. He had grown pale and rushed out of the locker room and straight to his go - to panic attack stall, he called it. Cynical, he knew. No such luck, though, because two days later, late afternoon, Jeremy had thundered down the stairs to Michael’s not yet smokey and dank but rather clean and cold basement bedroom, stumbling excitedly.  
“Michael - Michael - look at!” he puffed. He already wasn’t quite an active person and had to catch his breath for a minute. Michael laughed.  
“Take your time.” He chuckled. Jeremy held up his finger in the classic ‘one minute’ gesture, but started to pull off his too - big lion t-shirt. Michael blushed slightly. Jeremy was still breathing heavily as he pulled his shirt over his head, his wings unfurling gracefully on his shoulder blades, one delicate feather at a time. With a sinking feeling, Michael noticed that they were much larger than the last time he had seen his friend. Their silvery tips shined just as brightly as Jeremy’s green sandstone colored eyes, staring into Michael’s chocolate brown ones.  
“They’re bigger! They’re so much bigger!” He paces around. “I wonder who it is? That likes me? Maybe it’s Brooke, Brooke’s pretty. Or no wait, maybe Chloe? But I don’t really like Chloe. Maybe it’s..,” Jeremy slows down and blushes a bit. “Christine..” He mutters softly, in that lavender colored velvet voice he had reserved for when he was talking to or about his secret flame, Christine Canigula. He couldn’t really blame Jeremy for liking her. Her skin was soft like cream and she looked like she was wearing makeup even when she wasn’t. Her hair was silky and black and shiny and smelled like peaches and sage all the time. Besides that, she was always nice and always off in her own worlds, daydreaming. He supposed these were desirable traits in a girl, but he wouldn’t know. Michael had never really felt anything at all towards girls. His moms had told was okay if he didn’t like girls at all, but he suspected they were wrong. There were always people picking on people for supposedly being gay. Michael sighed as Jeremy went off about Christine, why she might like him, who else it could be, and on and on. He couldn’t really see his feelings for Jeremy going away anytime soon. This is gonna be a really tough few years, He thought to himself, almost letting out an actually audible sigh.


	2. And So It Went

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael starts smoking weed  
> I post an actually longish chapter  
> I lied it really isn't that long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am again i guess  
> Here is a link to a playlist titled 'Michael Mell' that I found randomly, so I guess that's what he was listening to but mostly I just wanted to share this great shit with you
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOhHfMima7-Z1zXlQcy9tiz_rXqw8X7UJ
> 
> I almost cried writing parts of this but maybe that's just me

In their fourth month of their eighth grade year, Michael’s mom left. It was also the year Michael had started smoking weed. His moms had been on and off fighting for many years, but one night, it was especially bad. His mom who had left, Dana, had kissed him on the head and sent him to bed, but Michael could still hear the screaming and stomping through the basement ceiling. He heard his mom running upstairs, heard her walking towards the door, heard it slam shut. He heard his other mom, Rose, banging on his door. He had pretended to be asleep and eventually she’d left him alone.  
He cried himself to sleep that night. He knew Dana was the only one who had really cared about him. Rose had just gone along with the adoption because her wife wanted to.  
When Michael sat up in his bed that morning, fingers reaching for his thick framed glasses, he felt something rubbing against his arm, something light and soft. When he clumsily pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, he finally looked down. There were feathers on his matress - fistufuls of feathers, and a few more stuck in his shirt. In a panic, he stared at his wings, unfurling them. They were considerably shorter and scraggled near the ends.  
He had only had feathers fall off one time before, when he was just three years old. He only had faint memories of it- a woman with dark skin and darker hair setting him down, crying. He had tried to go back to her, but she had just given him a sad look and slammed her car door in his face. He hadn’t stopped crying for days, and then too had he woken up with feathers scratching his skin.  
Michael decided then that he wasn’t going to cry anymore - not about this, not about anything. Jeremy could never like someone who had a special bathroom stall for panic attacks and cried over his mom leaving. After all, Jeremy’s mom had left in the summer of the last year, and Jeremy had never cried about that.  
Michael forced himself to somewhat fall out of his bed and walk over to his closet. He chose his favorite baggy red hoodie, one with a Pac-man patch, soon to be one among many, on the breast area. He pulled it over his head, the slightly scratchy felt-ish material forcing down his still-unfurled wings, pushing them back into place firmly against his back.  
Everyday he resisted tears spilling over and rushed to the bathroom when he could feel feathers slipping down his back. After Dana had left, he had been left with Rose. She never hit Michael, but she drank and drank and wouldn’t do anything around the house.  
She told Michael things when she was drunk, mostly about how she didn’t even want him. When tears threatened to spill over, Michael would just throw on the headphones that Jeremy bought him for his birthday. They were really soft, and really expensive. He cranked up his music so loud he couldn’t even hear his throughs and didn’t care if it meant he’d get hearing damage or whatever.  
He had worn the same red hoodie every day for almost a month before Jeremy had said anything about it. They were sitting in Michael’ basement, predictably playing video games.  
“Michael..” Jeremy started, pausing the game. Michael didn’t peel his eyes off the screen. Jeremy looked pretty uncomfortable. Michael probably should have just made it easier, listened to him, even turned to him, but he really didn’t feel like discussing anything.  
“You’ve been wearing that hoodie for a while, are you.. Y’know.. okay?” Michael didn’t answer him. He couldn’t. Tears he had been holding in for a month were spilling down the sides of his face, down his cheeks and forming damp spots on his hoodie, which he had started to pull off. His small, bent and frazzled wings feebly raised up. Jeremy did a tiny little gaspy thing and kind of pulled Michael into a half hug.  
“I’ll just.. Have to try to.. love you more!” Jeremy had said kind of hopefully. Michael’s heart skipped a beat. He knew what his friend had meant, but hearing the words coming out of his mouth were still startling. After that, you could barely separate the two boys.  
One day, Michael left school early. The excuse he had used was that he had an appointment and that his mom was picking him up. That was kind of true. His mom wasn’t coming to pick him up, but he did have a sort-of appointment. He didn’t have to walk far to meet the hookup that Dustin Kropp had recommended to him. He looked like a guy from the movies and stories - dark clothes and hidden face, standing towards the back of a dank alleyway.  
“This is like something from the movies.” he blurted stupidly.  
“Are we doing this or not?” the tall, lanky man hissed at him. Michael slipped him a wad of money, probably too much. The guy slipped him back a plastic bag of crusty green shit that wasn’t quite what Michael had pictured. He rushed home and threw the baggie under his bed, not like his mom would have cared even if she had been home to see him.  
Later that afternoon when he was hanging out downstairs with Jeremy, he had pulled it out and opened it deviously.  
“Look what I gooottt!” Jeremy shied away.  
“I don’t know, man. Isn’t that shit supposed to be really really bad for you?”  
“Whatever.” Michael shrugged, coughing violently as he took his first drag. This happened every time they hung out - Michael would smoke, Jeremy would be apprehensive about it.  
One day, Christine Canigula started going out with some kid named Sean Pitter. Jeremy had fumed about it all day and eventually agreed to smoke with Michael, and so it went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate always putting my son through this he doesn't deserve it I'm sorry  
> I just feed off of your comments that say "AJSFGICGRVHVNREMXOJFCNEW SO ANGSTY I LOVE IT BUT HATE IT FUCK YOU"  
> as always, please comment if you liked it cause that always makes my McFucking day, and fUCK MICHEALS MOM AMIRIGHT


	3. After All, Who Else Did He Have?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter is short.  
> Michael's wings are shorter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a short chapter, It's basically filler.  
> Also a bit of an update at the end notes.

Their freshman year was refreshingly tragedy free. Michael’s crush on Jeremy grew, and so did his wings. Jeremy’s crush on Christine grew, and so did her wings. Michael’s wings stayed exactly the same all year.  
It was the summer of their sophomore year, though, that blissful just okay-ness dispersed. Michael was sitting in his room one day, smoking and waiting for tomorrow, when more feathers found their way out through the bottom opening of his shirt - a lot more.   
He knew it must have been Jeremy - after all, who else did he have? They hadn’t talked in weeks. Granted, Jeremy was at camp all summer, but still it reminded Michael of all the times that his skin felt too tight and his heart would pound rhythmically and loudly in his ears and he could only stare blankly at a wall and when he bit the tabs of skin that stuck up around his fingernails until there were stripes of ripped - up skin down his fingers - but it wasn’t Jeremy.   
Two days after, Michael’s mom got a call. His mother - the other one, Dana, had passed away.   
Michael spent the most part of that summer crying in his room and barely talking to Jeremy, which he didn’t yet know was something he would soon have to get used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have, in the works, 3 more (angsty af) fanfics.  
> I don't know how long they will be   
> the point of me telling you this is that when I have inspiration for those, I'll work on them, which means I won't always be working on this and I can't set a clear update schedule  
> however this one should be finished in not too many chapters, but I'd like to kind of drag it out.   
> As always my insta is just daddy snert if you want to tell me to go frink myself or ask if I'll ever write fluff   
> ((((thats probably a no)))


	4. Two Unimportant Soda Nerds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mostly just follows the cannon scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling in an 'updatey' mood today s0 here's this  
> M O R E S H O R T A S S F I LL E R

Their Junior year started out perfectly normal. Jeremy and Michael met at lunch, Jeremy ranted about Christine, Michael loyally listened to him. Jeremy signed up for the school play - okay, admittedly not normal. And then - when they were playing video games in Michael’s basement - something even less normal.   
“So, it’s a pill that makes you cooler or something?” Michael twisted around in his beanbag chair to face Jeremy.  
“Yeah, I guess that’s the gist of it. I guess it sounds dumb when I say it out loud. Nah, I’ll just ignore him. Although..” his friend sounded dejected. Michael didn’t want to ruin this for him. Sure, it was almost definitely fake, but with these Japanese products you never could tell. In fact, Michael thought he remembered hearing about them, from someone he used to talk to over Steam.   
The real reason Michael didn’t want Jeremy to get the pill was that he was afraid Jeremy would leave him. Not entirely leave him, but maybe - somehow - get too cool for him. They’d never needed to be popular before, when it was just the two of them.   
Besides, Michael had lived almost his whole life for Jeremy, with Jeremy. Sometimes he hated how dependant he was on him. Sometimes at night when he lay helplessly awake that was yet another thing he’d berate himself about in the mirror. Now Michael felt selfish for possibly denying him an opportunity he was excited about.  
“- said there’s some dealer at the Payless, so maybe we could go to the mall?” Jeremy said, somewhat hopefully. Michael sighed. He couldn’t deny his FriendCrush this.   
“Yeah, man! I have to go there sometime this week to pick up my Crystal Pepsi anyway!” Michael put on his fake-enthusiastic tone of voice.   
“Man, you’re gonna die someday from drinking all that old - ass soda shit. I can see the headlines: ‘Unimportant Soda Nerd Dies From Drinking 100 Year Old Crystal Beepis” Michael smiled, the first genuine smile he had cracked in weeks.   
“Better make that ‘Two Unimportant Soda Nerds’ - you love it too.” Jeremy shoves him over, giggling softly, and his heart skips about 50 beats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't have much to say except that I do have the rest of this planned out, so yay  
> but also  
> fuck your emotions


	5. He Seems Strange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you could probably skip this chapter, it's just Jeremy going to get the squip, it's nothing special or angsty, I just gotta add it in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter, but I'll probably do a few updates today. This is basically just one of the cannon scenes that I have to add, and then the like whole Upgrade thing, but then I'll probbly skip ahead to the Angst Climax so

Michael goes with Jeremy to the Payless. He kinda tunes out while they’re discussing it, but he does offer to buy the mountain dew for Jeremy. He watches in very nervous anticipation as his friend swallows the pill.  
“So?” he asks, voice dripping with fake excitement.   
“Ugh. Nothing. I think I just wasted my bar mitzvah money on a wintergreen tic tac.” Jeremy grimaces. “I don’t even like wintergreen tic tacs!”   
“Bad luck, man.” but Michael is secretly relieved. He splits from Jeremy to go get his Pepsi.   
As soon as he reaches the Spencers, he hears a loud screaming from somewhere in the mall. Shrugging, he hands over the money, takes his soda, and goes to wait for Jeremy. Eventually he comes back, but he seems… strange. Before he speaks he’s oddly silent. Then he says, stiffly,  
“I can’t go back over to your house today, sorry.” Michael’s heart sinks, but he’s not about to argue. He drops Jeremy off and then drives back to his house. I mean, at least he’ll see Jeremy at school tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your kudos, whoever you are  
> I make me happo  
> as always, nEVER SAY WHAT YOU REALLY FEEL WHY MAKE A   
> sorry i was listening to Guide to Sucess  
> As always blease comment idk why just do


	6. Jeremy Was Acting Strange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just the Upgrade scene- hopefully by today I'll almost have this finished, so that's a thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T A K E T H E U P G R ANDE

All day Monday, Jeremy was acting strange. He acted like he didn’t see Michael waving to him, and he stayed far away. He was talking to Rich- RICH! The kid who was basically bullying him ever since sophomore year. Most of all, he had a new confidence around him. He was waving to Brooke and Chloe and Jenna, and they were waving back. Brooke even winked at him. WINKED? W H A T T H E F U C K.  
He couldn’t catch Jeremy until the end of the day. He was behind the school with Brooke, and Michael angrily approached him when she had left.  
“Michael? Where have you been all day?” Jeremy seemed surprised to see him.  
“So it’s not you who’s been avoiding me all day? Man, you’ve been acting weird ever since..” it all started to sink in. “It worked, didn’t it? Jeremy, that’s great! We have to celebrate!” Michael’s pounding heart started to slow. They would smoke, or something, and it would be just like old times. He started to walk away when he realized that Jeremy wasn’t behind him.  
“Jeremy? Are you coming?” Jeremy stood still for an uncomfortable amount of time. Michael stared hopefully up at his friend. After a few more minutes, Jeremy turned his back. Michael felt feathers slip down his back, but this time, he wasn't surprised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T A K E T HE U P GRANDE


	7. Michael Still Loved Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is M E GNN A SH OR T  
> it's just a lead up to th  
> e B ATH Room SCEN e   
> so prepare ur anus fpr the bathroom scen  
> ehheheheehthrhrthe  
> If i execute this correctly i'll have ripped your hearts out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHROT SHO

For months, Michael watched his ex-friend’s popularity rise. He watched his friend’s stupidly long wings grow longer with every new, popular friend he would gain.  
The worst thing was, Michael still liked him. Michael still loved him. Michael still wanted Jeremy to love him. And he hated himself for it.  
He watched Jeremy and Christine grow closer. And closer. Two months before Jake’s Halloween party, Jeremy and Christine started dating. And Michael still loved him.   
Two weeks before Jake’s party, Michael talked with someone online who's brother had gone insane trying to get the squip out, and Michael didn’t even know if he wanted to tell Jeremy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RT SHORT SHORT SHOTER


	8. The Fucking Bathroom Scene Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a a a a a   
> im jsut stretching this out

Michael walked up to the large house. Music was blaring loudly, lights were flashing. He breathed. In, out. In, out. He reached for the handle but jumped back when it turned by itself. Two people, a boy and a girl, had rushed out of the house, giggling. The girl gave Michael a look of disgust. Michael stepped into the house, where he was immediately handed a cup of beer.   
Michael stumbled around the party, half drunk and looking for Jeremy. He sat in the bathroom, defeated. Maybe Jeremy had left already. That would be just his luck. Somebody walked into the bathroom, somebody with hair that looked like dandelion seeds, somebody with green sandstone-colored eyes. Somebody was Jeremy.   
“Michael? Were you even invited?”  
“No, but I really need to talk to you!”  
“Later, or something.” Jeremy started to walk out of the bathroom.  
“No, Jeremy, IT’S ABOUT THE SQUIP!” he half shouted. Jeremy stopped, and turned around.  
“Make it quick.” so Michael did. He told Jeremy about the guy he had talked to.   
“Why would it make me go insane? That’s stupid.”  
“HE WENT INSANE TRYING TO GET IT OUT!” Jeremy stopped for a minute.   
“Well, that doesn’t matter. I don’t want to get it out.”  
“Come on Jeremy, just listen to me!” Michael moved to block the door, but Jeremy pushed him out of the way.   
“Get out of my way. Loser.” the last work hung there as Jeremy slammed the door in Michael’s face.


	9. Michael Was Tired (bathroom scene part 2 for real)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING::  
> this chapter is where the self harm happens. If you want to skip it, I put a line of '-------' before it happens so you know and I'll explain kind of what happened in the end notes.

Michael almost fell to his knees, shaking. He sat in the bathroom, breathing heavily, his head filled with a buzzing noise. He hadn’t cried in what felt like years (and probably was), but now he could feel tears spilling over, accompanied by choked gasps and loud sobs. Michael felt more helpless than he’d felt in a while. His heart pounds against his chest, threatening to come out.  
Michael hates that this is why he’s freaking out, this is why he’s having another panic attack in another bathroom, and it’s because some now-popular kid who he thought he knew doesn’t love him back, except at this moment, when he reaches into his heart to try and find something he loves about Jeremy, he can’t. That’s the only good thing that’s come out of this- he doesn’t love Jeremy anymore, for the most part.  
He hears knocking at the door, quiet at first and then louder, and right as he’s about to get up to leave, whoever is knocking is gone. Michael stands up anyway.  
When he stands, he notices feathers fallen on the bathtub floor. He doesn’t care anymore, and he does care, and he hates the part of him that cares.  
It used to be a tale, a legend perhaps, that everyone has a part of their wings that represents their love for themself. It was fabled that it didn’t work the same way as the rest of the wing - that if you love yourself more, it grows. They say everyone’s was about equal, but it could fall out like normal.  
Michael knew that this wasn’t his mom, or Jeremy, or anyone. This time, Michael knew it was because he didn’t love himself.  
He slowly pulled off his dumb, itchy sweater. He picked off a few feathers from inside of it and looked in the mirror to asses the damage. His wings were smaller and more feeble than they ever had been. And Michael was tired.  
He was tired of being sad every time he looked in the mirror, and he was tired of thinking it was his own fault all the time that he had less feathers than anyone he’d ever known.  
He desperately opened drawers and cabinets until he found what he was looking for.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
His fingers were shaking as he removed the blade from the razor and lifted it to the base of his wing. Without a second thought, he plunged the razor down into the thick stem of wing that was connected to his back. He pressed down more and more and his hands were still shaking and he didn’t care that he kept missing the wing and cutting into his back and the last thing he saw was red blood running down the side of his pure white wings and smoke coming through the crack in the bottom of the door, which burst open. Someone, Michael couldn’t see who, had grabbed him and held him up, and then Michael couldn’t see anything but darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone did skip the self harm part, basically Michael tried to cut off his wings and then he blacked out being carried away from the fire.


	10. Jeremy's Chapter (((angst ending)))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy's POV  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was not going to be the ending in the beginning  
> but  
> so  
> should i make an alternate fluff ending?

Jeremy slammed the door in Michael’s face and instantly felt guilty. Michael had been his best friend for years. Michael never made fun of him for anything that everyone else did, like how much he liked dolphins or how he tried to make that dolphin suit that he was really proud of until Rich Goranski laughed at it. He felt even more guilty when he stood outside the door, his head pressed against it, and heard choked sobs from inside.  
He didn’t know how long he had until the SQUIP would come back. Jeremy knocked on the door. Softly at first, and then harder when his friend didn’t answer. He could her fragments of the SQUIP’s voice, saying things like ‘no’ and ‘loser’ in his head. He ignored them and kept knocking until - the SQUIP shocked him. It had started in his legs and traveled up his body. He hated it, he hated when the SQUIP shocked him.  
He hated the feeling and he hated the leaf-patterned fractal-like scars that he could see creeping round his stomach. They weren’t so present when the SQUIP was on, but when it was turned off, weather due to alcohol or Jeremy taking a break, sometimes he would watch them as they became redder and more pronounced. The SQUIP had told him that they would be permanent but it was ‘worth it to be popular’. Jeremy had believed it. Apparently, the SQUIP still had some function when Jeremy was drunk (or at least when it was wearing off) because he propelled Jeremy’s body over to a main part of the party.  
Jeremy unwillingly left the bathroom door, but he knew he would see Michael again when he came out to leave. Jeremy would just have to scan the crowds for him and apologize on the way out. In the meantime, he scanned the living room for signs of Christine. He couldn’t find her anywhere. He went upstairs, where there were few people and the sound of partygoers was distant. He opened a door - probably to one of the bedrooms - and there she was, shirtless and making out with Jake Dillinger. Jeremy stood there for what felt like an hour. He stood there until Christine’s feathers started to fall out, until she looked up and saw him and he slammed the door again. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes as he rushed down the stairs. Then, Jeremy smelled smoke.  
“FIRE!” someone yelled. Jeremy could feel the SQUIP rushing him towards the door when he remembered Michael.  
He quickly chugged a beer, hoping to get rid of the SQUIP for a little while longer, and sprinted faster than he ever had in his life towards the bathroom, which was shrouded in a cloud of smoke. Michael was bleeding from a huge open wound in his chest, but Jeremy didn’t have time to do anything about it, so he just picked up Michael and ran out the door s his eyes closed. After driving his friend to a hospital, Jeremy quickly rushed home.  
His costume had been tight and restraining, keeping his wings in place, but that morning it was Jeremy’s turn to wake up covered in feathers, mountains of feathers, with much more than half of his wings completely gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was a fucking journey  
> I hope I made you cry but I probably did not achieve the effect I was going for  
> I wanted this chapter to kind of highlight Jeremy's struggle?  
> so  
> goodbye friends for now we will meet again


	11. This isnt a real update but please read it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so

You may or may not have been following this before. Either way, it's been a while. So my question: Should I make an alternate fluff ending?  
My point was to have it end sadly, but I know some of you really do not want that. So I'd be willing to make one. Please comment whether I should do a fluff ending and also I would consider putting in some jeremy pov chapters abt when he was becoming popular. I mean. Should I?

**Author's Note:**

> Henlo please comment on this for i crave the syruppy validation poured over my  
> nevermind  
> my instagram is daddy snert if you want to see weird BMC posts idk  
> please tell me if you liked it because then I'll upload more regularly probably  
> gosh dangit its so scary to share your writing with the world hehehhuehue  
> but seriously please love me


End file.
